My storyboard was now only 2 pages and 46 sticky notes. Basically ripping my story to it's core and taking out all the 'stuff' the creature does in her day, the pond now seems a lot less friendly and less happy to live, as before I was slightly worried that it was maybe a little too nice to live and that I hadn't created a good enough reason for her to leave. The inhabitance of pond have now also gone, so my creature is a lot more lonely but does not know any better and is also a lot more terrified of the outside world, therefore her leaving is much more of a triumph.
According to this storyboard the synopsis goes like this:
A solitary pond creature lives her life in her still lonely pond, isolated from the outside world she remains in her pond too scared of the unknown outside world to leave, her only view to the outside is the top of the tree canopy.
Every day is a struggle as the slightest noise startles her. Her only real comfort is her small lilly pad garden that is also her food source, she gently picks a flower and timidly nibbles each petal.
She wonders to the edge of the pond and doodles some abstract shapes in the mud but then suddenly hears an unknown noise from beyond the trees. Then suddenly it starts to rain and the pond comes to life with rain drops hitting the surface. Suddenly an almighty thunder storm appears and the creature frightened out of her wits seeks safety in her lilly garden (her only company after all). Thunder flashes and the rain heavily beats on her pond.
Morning arrives and the creature shakily emerges to see what has become of her pond. From the heavy rainfall her pond is slightly overflowing and a small stream of water is leading off into the unknown forest. Panicing the creature doesn't know what to do? She goes to the edge of her pond when suddenly some glistening in the distance.
A beautiful dragonfly resting on a leaf catches the creatures eye. She is stunned by it's beauty and slowly approaches it. The dragonfly then whizzes off to the canopy and heads through the forest. The creature without thinking flows it, racing through the trees until she comes to the edge of the trees where two giant trees have been uprooted from the storm and for the first time she sees the bright sun, the dragonfly flies around her freely and the creature at first is scared to go any further but then sees how the dragonfly just lives it life and is much more happy in the few seconds of seeing it that all her days of being in her pond. She sees the little stream of her pond flow down the hill and she looks up and takes her first step into the unknown. But her ankle is tied up on a lilly pad vein, she looks back at her pond for the last time then holds herself up confidently and walks out into the big wide open world.
I am slightly concerned that maybe the beginning could be quite boring if I don't lay it out right and that the audience wouldn't instantly be captured into the character and world I have created as this version is a lot more depressing in the beginning. I am also a bit concerned that the since the drawing on rocks part has been removed that the character will seem a lot less interesting, as except for being scared and eating she doesn't do much. The rock drawing according to Leonnie had represented cultural issues? I'm not hundred percent what it means but I was informed that I would be shooting myself in the foot if my creature was decorating her pond with stone drawings. I did really like that touch of the film though, so I am still not 100% if I will cut it out, that is however why I added her doodling in mud, just so she was doing something, and also to show her creative side, and that she doesn't just have the complete intelligence of an average animal.
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