Storyboard 3

At this weeks seminar I showed my new storyboard even though it wasn't completely the way I wanted it and it was still sort of a frankenstein storyboard with some frames from the old storyboard so the layout is all wrong in some parts but it was just to present the basic story.








Feedback
James and some students looked at my storyboard, I knew there still wasn't something quite right about my story, it didn't have that spark that I was expecting, and it just seemed a bit predictable with the structure.

• James suggested that I have the storm of my story at the beginning, and asked why shouldn't it be? The problem I had with the storm at the beginning was that I felt that the audience wouldn't understand the creature's life before the storm.  But James insisted that with the right character performance that audience would know exactly that the character is reacting to a change in her environment.  I just have to have a large amount of faith in my acting as well the my faith in the audience.
• James also suggested that the open tree canopy appear after the storm and only after it will the creature have an open view of the outside world, this would also make more sense how the dragonfly got into her pond.
• With the storm at the beginning, the audience will be just chucked straight into the story and I do feel that the being is less.... boring now.  If there's anything I don't want to make it's a boring film.  Worst nightmare.
• A talk with some students and again I need to work on my layout and angling.  I thought I would be good at this but it is much harder than expected, though I am determined to make the most of my layout and play with the space to create the best atmosphere for the scenes. 
• Osamah suggested that my film is more of a feeling film that a completely story driven film with lots of 'things' happening, which I suppose now thinking about it and since all the 'things' have been taken out of my film it is defiantly more of a feeling film. Which means it is essential that I get the mood and colour right, along with brilliant character performance. 
• Jess also suggested a cute little way to introduce the dragonfly which I will apply to my new storyboard that I will be working on this week. 

Upon how to improve my story James suggested that I take a look at a 1973 animated short narrated by Orson Welles, Plato's Cave.  The Greek myth of four slaves chained up facing a wall in a dark cave, behind then is a flame and objects are placed in front of the flame to cast shadows of the objects and it is those shadows that the prisoners believe is real, not knowing any better.  Then one prisoner is freed and shown that what he thought was real was simply an illusion and is shown the outside world for the first time.  At first he is startled by the light and it takes some time before his eyes can see the full objects that are real that cast the shadows in the first place.  He then learns of the world and tells his fellow prisoners about the outside world, but they laugh at him and say he's crazy, as of course they know no better.  So the freed prisoner returns to the outside world as why would he return to the cave now that he has a new perspective on life.




I had never heard of this myth before, but I can see how it can help me with my film and some people may associate my film with this story so it is good to be aware of it.  I like how the prisoner reacts to the sun for the first time, so I may try to adapt a similar reaction in my film.  It all depends on how big the canopy is, where it's a small gap or a massive whole in the trees.