Pecha Kucha Presentation & First Storyboard

I was a week late with my pecha kucka presentation as I was ill the week before, so unfortunately had later feedback from the majority of the class, none the less I had my presentation the following week.  My feedback from my presentation was al right, I didn't have the storyboard on my presentation as I felt that would have taken up the entire presentation and I felt it was better to use the presentation to show all my research and process of the character and design as well as the overall message I want to convey.  I also wanted to show my storyboard on a separate tutorial.  My feedback was mainly from Leonie that my creature's design needed work and that it didn't go with the feel of the film I was describing.  


First Sticky-Note Storyboard




That week I was ill I had drawn up my first sticky note storyboard, which is most helpful for people interacting with the layout of the story and easy to fix is some scenes need to be added or removed.  I filled up 3 large pages with 99 sticky notes, it looked a little long and I didn't really have a clue how long it would be until I turned it into an animatic.  I took my storyboards with me on Monday to show my seminar class and James.  Unfortunately James did not have time to see me that day but I did get some helpful feedback from some students.

Feedback:

• Need to make it a bit more clear that the creature wants to leave the pond.
• More establishing shots, I don't actually have any establishing shots at all and less reaction shots, some long slow shots can be much more effective.
• Use different angles, mix it up a bit and play with the mood of the shot more.
• The low angle of the creature looking up and the dragonfly flying out to the open of the tree canapé needs some work, making the creature smaller and putting her in the corner of the shot will make her seem less powerful in the shot and put more focus on the dragonfly.
• At the end the butterfly should lead the path to the creature's freedom.
• My story ends quite quick so there could be a couple of ways I could lead up to it by adding more slow, quiet shots to show my character's decision.
• A shot of the creature looking back one last time at her pond before she leaves is needed just to have a sort of a goodbye between her and the pond.

I then met up with Matthew Gravelle said I had a good structure to my storyboard and that it was very clear to read and that an audience would not be confused reading the story visually but that I needed to show the character's desire to leave the pond more with a shot of her face looking sad or some sort of reaction shot.  He also noted that my film did feel a bit more like a trailer for a bigger film and that it just kind of ends suddenly and leaves the audience wanting more, which I always thought was a good thing but maybe not in this context.

So overall so far I needed to work on my scene layout and somehow work on making the ending seem less sudden but not add more time to the film.... mmm